Excuses.. Excuses.. Excuses
Been a while eh? But I'm back and got thinking...
What's the TOP 3 excuses married couples use to avoid sexual intimacy?
Now please bear this in mind first:
The right to sexual fulfilment belongs to both the husband and wife, and it is wrong to assume that in Islam only the husband has this privilege. The wife has as much right to expect that her sexual needs are fulfilled as the husband. As such, sexual relations are a right of both spouses.
My lovely couples out there, let's get to it and work out how the 'EXCUSE' can be turned into a SQUEEZE ME PLEASE!
Excuse Number 1.
"I'm too tired.. zzz"
Now this can be an excuse even without saying "I'm too tired!" How many times have you heard your spouse say in the morning,
"You knocked it even before I came to bed" (not in such a happy tone!)
What to do?
Think back to our In2macy Guide .. Balancing that work life routine. Would it really kill you if you just left sorting the laundry for tomorrow?
Or leaving that work email / report for tomorrow?
No husband (or wife!) likes the routined timetabled sexual intimacy. It becomes a 'chore' and the passion disappears - so why bother even getting intimate if that's the case?
When it becomes like this, that is the stage where a husband and wife no longer feels the need to dress up or make an effort to add that all important spice in marriage. Something that is so VITAL especially today. (Check the latest VLOG for more info!)
TOP TIPS: Anything that can wait..LET IT WAIT. Give your mind and body some rest time in the evening. Take some time to 'chill' together as a couple. Part of the being tired also means 'not in the mood'. So build that intimate mood from the minute you see your spouse. Without the mood for some intimacy it won't happen!
And if You are in the mood, don't leave it till your partner is yawning in bed to say!
Excuse Number 2:
"The kids will wake up!"
(For the parents out there!)
Using the kids as an excuse may seem like such an easy option out. But by making sure your children have that routine where they go bed and you can have that couple time can only be achieved by yourselves as parents.
Once kids are asleep.. they sleep!
TIPS: So get your parenting mode on, ensure the kids are in bed early enough for you to still have that adult time.
Excuse Number 3:
"The cold mornings and those cold showers!"
Yes we all know the struggle of VERY early showers to make it in time for Fajr! Even harder on those cold, dark nights!
BUT.. stop and think about the rights your spouse has for their desires and needs to be fulfilled. Are you really going to neglect that using the excuse of fajr?
Think about the greater reward of fulfilling your loved ones needs as well as making that extra effort for fajr? Need I say more?
InshaAllah this blog helps in some ways - helping to understand the importance of intimacy.
But do not take it to extreme to curse your loved one when they really and truly are not in the mood for physical intimacy. Patience also goes a long way!
Do check the latest VLOG on dressing up for your spouse and keep using tips from our in2mate guide!
For any advice on your intimate needs contact us via email.
We are always happy to help.
Til next time,