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Love your children but do not let them dominate your marriage. Do not forget to prioritize the one you married!

Love your children but do not let them dominate your marriage. Do not forget to prioritize the one you married!

How often have we heard newly weds say they will put having children off for few years because they need to ‘enjoy’ their married life first? There are any reasons why newly weds may want this, of course there may be financial restraints, the need to feel ‘ready’ and plenty more, but what the ultimate idea in most couple’s minds is that once the kids come along that’s it… The End of Romance!

This idea culminates from many social and cultural influences – e.g. Mother frustrated from baby chores and then drained out for any intimacy with her husband or the idea that the ‘flame’ is now gone with the daily errands of childcare.


  • "The most perfect of believers are those most perfect of character; and the best of you are the best of you to your spouses." ( Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1162)
  • 'When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and then he sleeps being angry, the angels curse her until morning." ( Sal],"il}, al-Bukhan 3065 & SaiJ,il}, Muslim 1436, the wording is of Muslim)
  • Having sex too often can be exhausting and unhealthy, whilst abandoning sex altogether or reducing it to a bare minimum may also be damaging and unhealthy. Couples should negotiate what is an achievable goal for them in terms of sexual activity so that they may settle on a level that is mutually satisfactory. The best way to achieve this is through honest and respectful ·discussion.

         Extract from Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations Mubammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari


After several years of being married now and having my own children, I know the frustrations and fatigue felt by both mother and father – it is natural to not always be in the mood or have the constant interruptions which can cause heated discussions! If you know, you know!

But what is the solution for this? How can we keep that intimacy and passion going through diaper changes and early morning school runs?!

In2mate Nights provides some advice which we hope will be beneficial for your in2mate nights!

  1. Time Management

Organise your time so you have enough time with your children and then that’s it for the day. Quality time doesn’t have to be hours of baking and arts and crafts, even just cuddling and watching a cartoon together is something kids appreciate. For a lot of working mothers who sometimes feel guilty and then spend every minute in the evening with your child, STOP! There is no need for guilt. Some genuine time together will show you care!

With this time put your children to bed early – allowing yourselves enough time to relax and de-stress from those evening chores. A more relaxed you results in a more attractive you!

  1. The special evening time

Now you have the guilt free evening – spent time with the kids, relaxed and calmed yourself, do not turn to your ‘own zone’ i.e. Messaging on your watsapp groups, checking those football scores on sky news!

Women, you want his attention? Then, get out of those after work gear, and find yourself some in2mate nights lingerie – chemises and beautiful robes which can be worn before any foreplay to keep his attention on you! Why not think back to In2mate Nights E-book for those tips to make your evening more sensual? Build that in2mate scene!

  1. Timetabled Sex!

Purity is half your faith – But so is marriage! “I have an early start to work”

“It’s too cold for showers now” “The hairdryer will wake the kids at this hour!” All comments I have heard many times from complaints! Keeping sex to just a routine day will really get rid of that burning flame! Make your husband feel like you always want to please him, fulfil his desires. Remember, he will definitely be surrounded by so much fitna in the outside world – so why not always remind him of the sweet treasure he has at home – HIS WIFE.

Same goes for the husbands – give her that love and passion, fulfil her needs and desires – this will only make her feel more special and build that love even stronger!

For more tips and advice on how to create the perfect in2mate night, check our Free E-book (with every purchase).


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